It’s amazing how the mind tricks you into believing that this is the “new normal”.
You work everyday in the most beautiful campus in Switzerland, cooped in a room you not-so-lovingly refer to as the dungeon. You stagger home every night (or morning) at 2 AM back to a steel and glass monstrosity and all you can do is have the “normal chicken” and bury your head into the pillow.
And then you wake up at 8, have a croissant and restart work at 8:30.
Weekends are spent in bed and in hope.
I told the nice Customs guy at the Gare du Midi that I was a consultant working in Switzerland. As an afterthought I added, “it’s not as exciting as it sounds.”
I was walking through the perfume section today in the department store when I felt overwhelmingly sad. I don’t know if you know what I mean… it’s like someone just squeezed your heart a bit and all you really want to do is sit into a nice cushion and sob into a handkerchief. Preferably one that’s kind of lacy and ladylike.
I am getting a bit tired of my morals. You know, the ones that keep niggling away at me? Sometimes, just sometimes, I think I am just a bit too good for my own good.
I spent the whole of Wednesday putting paperclips on my teammate’s shirt and generally behaving like I was 10 years old and on a sugar high. You know, my OLD normal. He just had one thing to tell me, “I am glad you are so happy today. But why?”
Life should be better, shouldn’t it? This shouldn’t be my meridian.