Dear reader, I am about to commit an inequity most heinous,
To your sanity it might prove to be quite ruinous,
Yet, for the love of my blog, sweet reader, you must dare.
My IIM-Indore GD/PI experience will be verse for the wear.
The fourth of March, the day dawned dark and bleak
With the clouds, ol’ Sun played hide and seek.
At half past five, my mom decided that it was enough,
“Off the bed, my darling daughter, it’s time for tough love.”
I woke up, blinking the dusty cobwebs of sleep from my eyes,
Hoping that, today, I wouldn’t be cut down to a smaller size.
To beat Bangalore traffic (Always a pain in the sensitive part!)
We set off for IIM-B at seven, (Don’t ask about my heart!)
As a poet, I am allowed to take you on a digression in vain,
Yeah, rhyming the last three lines was a PAIN!
Okay, so here she was, Shrutz for her 3rd crack at a GD/PI,
This time for the young turk of the six, IIM-I.
Now, these IIM Indore folk thought it mighty fine,
To schedule the guinea pigs for Chinese torture at nine.
Yes, dear reader, you heard right, that’s nine aye-yum
These people have no concept of true-blue fun.
At the K-block of IIM-B, sat the unfortunate twenty,
Assembled on steel chairs that looked a li’l rickety.
Like little lambs to be led to the slaughter block,
In the wide classrooms hewn from ash-grey rock.
Nine ‘o clock struck her solemn chimes all too soon.
The twenty had gathered in what they called a waiting room.
But, Alas! To their surprised, nothing had happened,
Not a peep from the panel nor a list, Okay, maybe that was a godsend.
Fifteen minutes later, there entered a man, stage right
Split the twenty into 3 panels, and led two to their plight,
Leaving a very nervous bunch of seven in the room,
And then we were seated to meet glory or crash to doom.
Now, this friendly professor, (Let’s call him Numero Uno)
Smiled at the seven of us brightly and said, “You know,”
“This is the IIM-Indore group discussion, held in-door,
Yes, I am afraid the joke has been killed by many a bore!”
“So, without any further ado, let’s chart out our agenda,
We’re going to have a case study & it’s a mind-bender.
Yes! I know that this comes as a surprise to those of you,
Who lived and slept under a rock for the past month or two.”
“I hope you have all filled our yellow form from Hell,
Hey! it was lengthy, but at least we meant well!
So, what if you don’t know how to use MS Excel
Our disclaimer promises we don’t kiss and tell!”
So, at a motion of his hand, the case we all read,
Tried to make sense of whatever the author said.
Too much information it gave and witheld the rest,
Which might be pertinent to the idea to pass the test.
The case, now, what was it really about, after all?
It talked about four friends who had a great idea one fall.
They made a product to help the visually impaired,
Sold it to the public, in the market it very well fared.
Till one day, its success bred the rise of an audacious fake
Helped by the fifth in the team who played for a higher stake.
It could spell disaster to the small firm in its infancy,
They’d turned to us, the future MBAs from Hell, in their naveity.
Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn what happens to your company,
(And your little cat too!) Your HR policy couldn’t identify the enemy.
But to earn brownie points we have to talk our way,
Through the GD and lend a patient ear to what others say.
“How did the GD go?”, a question oft-heard, you see,
I’d say it was quite chaotic, but I’d be in a one-woman minority.
To put things in perspective, Shrutz was rendered speechless,
By the sheer tidal wave of the whole debating mess.
There were those who declared the fake to be as good,
And those who asseverated that it was VERY rude.
To have been back-stabbed by one held so dear,
It might happen again was quite a valid fear.
*Yawn*, SO what else is new in the world of the MBA wannabe?
Are you going to come with some radical new theory?
This case study is going nowhere in a hurry, you know,
Wake me up when something happens and things aren’t this slow.
After 14 minutes of yowling and screeching, we were done
Now, it was time for some serious writing fun.
Yeah right! A summary of the discussion most productive,
And mind you, the ideas were all quite regressive.
“Now, my dear wannabes, please clip your forms together,
To keep you on your toes, we’re calling you in random order.”
Mr.Uno and his sidekick, Mr.Man shooed us out,
We’d been chucked out of K23, without a doubt.
Outside the seven of us began the ritual of bonding over tea.
There were no biscuits this time, that was quite a pity.
To comment on my brothers-in-arms, do I dare?
I would’ve, but they’d scream and rant “That’s UNFAIR!”
Forty five minutes into the process, Out came Number 1,
It was going to be a long day ahead, and ’twas no fun.
Like kingpins, they called in numbers two, three and four.
Then, it was my turn, I was the next one through the door.
“Hello Shruti,” said Mr.Uno with a smile most mocking.
“Do not assume that for us the interviewee is king!”
“Why IIM-Indore? Why not IIM-Kozhikode?
We’ve been told that is the chosen Kampus of God!”
Said I with a nervous laugh, “Sir, it’s the brand name,
The tag IIM that matters. The IIMs are all the same.”
Now, Mr.Uno, he didn’t look convinced one bit,
Regardless, he thought he would overlook it.
“Okay, Shruti, so tell me, Why do you want to do an MBA?
And don’t try to bluff me, I know what you’re about to say.
So keep in mind, you are an ickle li’l fresher kiddie,
The fact that you have no work-ex really is a pity.”
“Well, sir, it’s just that I have done some much work
In the area of ahem, organising stuff, I didn’t shirk.
So I have take a flight of fancy incomprehensible,
Decided I want to do an MBA, if I am able!”
He shook his head in negation, “That’s all right,
But tell me why MBA now? When you might,
Work for two years and then take a course?”
Oh no! He wants work-experience enforced?
“I don’t this it absolutely necessary, sir.” I said,
With more firmness that I had intended.
He smiled and asked, “Right, tell me then,
What you know of our fair institute, Susan.”
“Yessir. IIM-Indore is young, even younger than me,
Established circa 2000, flourishing like a bay tree.
The placements have been good, salaries better,
9 lakhs and 16 lakhs, they’re great numbers.”
” I see you do Applied Electronics in CET,
What difference does it really make, Shruti?”
“Well sir, we major in instrumentation, you see”
What followed was a comparision of the two syllabi.
“So, you’re an engineer,” flashing a wicked smile,
“Now I want you to answer this question so simple,
How are digital cameras different from those of old?”
“Sir, you point and shoot, so I am told.”
To add to the torture, he then proceeded to ask,
How microwave ovens work and even a quartz watch.
To add insult to injury, he told me he wanted to know,
What the engineer would say as an answer right now.
“Sir, forget what an engineer knows, I just don’t,
I am not doing my MTech, and it shows upfront!”
Mr.Duo interrupted (not too smoothly, I may add)
“What are your hobbies, Shruti are they RAD?”
“Well sir, I blog at times, I read, I sing a bit,
I play the violin, like public speaking, and I write!’
“Name me some Indian violinists then, young lady?”
“L Subramaniam and Jayaram from Lalgudi.”
“Why do you want to do an MBA now then?”
I looked startled and felt deja vu all over again!
The answer sounded the same old, trite and common
Come on now! I am fresher, this is the best I could summon!
“What is the difference between a violin and a sitar?”
“This is like asking me to compare an apple and an anar,
The only similarity is that they are two fruits”
I sputtered something that sounded quite nuts.
“How does the sound vibrate in a violin by plucking?”
“Sir, we don’t pluck, the violin is played by drawing.
When we pluck, that is called pizzicatto,
Latin for plucking, we’re sophisticated-O!”
I explained about open strings and different positions!
Till he asked me what were the wave equations!
“Uhm, Lambda, Nu and V are involved, sir
On the name of engineers,I am an unfortunate slur!”
I was done for, with that pun most profound,
After all, I didn’t know how the sound,
In a violin obeyed the laws of physics,
That meant I was rather in a big fix.
The standing wave equation, I was told later,
But that didn’t occur to me then to tell the sir.
I got up to take my file and bid tender adieu,
When Mr.Uno decided “No not now!”
“Okay, Miss. George tell me what you’d do,
If we gave you a spot offer. Would you rue?”
I stood transfixed on the spot and sputtered,
“Well sir, IIM-I thinks I’m good, I’d be honoured!”
“Would you go for the other interviews?
Handle them like nobody else’s business?”
“Sir, please give me time to recover,
Spot offers really aren’t in your power!”
“I think you’re pulling my leg, but I’d say bye,
To the other IIMs, if you gave me a spot admit to I!”
“You’d even dump A?” asked he with his smile intact,
“Sure, I would sir, I already have! As a matter of fact!”
“You don’t have an A call, do you?” he asked with a huff,
“Nossir! But please don’t hold it against them, that’s just rough.”
“Okay, thank you, Shruti, you may leave too.
I can’t really say it was a pleasure meeting you.”
I walked out of the door, with a smile on my face,
I think, right now, I am out of the race!
Never mind, I shall rise out of the rout
Calcutta and Bangalore look out.
Copyright: Shrutz, 2006.