It’s All Relative!

This is the favourite sentence of my VLSI sir..
Every first hour on Mondays and Wednesdays and fourth hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, this person comes striding through our open doors and pretty much makes all our hearts race our food to the pits of our stomachs. He definitely has the most interesting hours to teach in, and interesting is NOT a simple enough word to describe him
Time for back ground Info
Our sir is tall and stoops (ie we have to perforce look upto him) and curly hair which is only rivalled by his moustache… A soup strainer! He is an IISc product, which is nice and all that, but our usual grouse is why he didn’t go to some other college to scare the living daylights out of the students. He definitely knows what he is talking about, but we don’t. And even if we do, we are too scared to tell him that we do.
Well, so, in comes sir and….
*clink* That was the sound of a pin dropping. My usually boisterous class becomes hellishly quiet. Every pair of eyes is turned on sir with a kind of ghoulish curiousity. There’s a reason. The second you go on to Blank mode (which is the mode in which most Engineering students function), he goes quiet. Next sentence is sure to put you into the direst straits “You, penultimate one.” Unfortunate boy looks up and points to self, “No next to him.”.. “No, next to HIM.. Ahh you, Nice girls going outside, right?” Whereupon, the victim turns a nice shade of brick red and wishes the earth would swallow him up.
His first speech to us should be an ample indication. “I will be teaching you VLSI. You don’t have to attend classes. Just tell me you are bored and I will give you attendance. You have to submit an assignment without copying. If n people copy from you, your mark will be divided by (N+1) (Maths class!). Even if your answers are wrong, otherwise, I’ll give you marks nearer 10. I would like it if you answer my questions. You must not talk in my class or let your mind wander. It disturbs my concentration. Don’t be tensed.”
“Yessir”
“If you have any complaints, you can send an email from an anonymous address. Your seniors did that”
“Yessir”
“Okay, let’s start…”
By this time, the class as a whole were holding their breath and hoping the sounds of their hearts rapidly beating was not to be misconstrued as an interruption.
To break the monotony, sometimes he comes to the lectern and asks us questions. Silence greets him. Noone wants to answer. So he catches the topper. Poor topper. He says something. Sir doesn’t look satisfied. He catches on next unsuspecting boy.
Time for next speech. “You must not be more than 15 minutes late for my hour. I will not let you in. If you’re early you can sit in the back, otherwise you have to sit in the front.”
Needless to say, the next day, ALL the boys came early and sat in front! Lesser trouble that way, and it saved them the walk when sir caught them, for losing the thread of their attention and told them to sit in front, ANYWAY!
Next question about MOS capacitors.. *clink* The pin falls again. All the students find something very interesting in their notebooks. Time for next speech..
“You people don’t know anything. Did you understand what I was teaching?”
Muted Yes-sir’s follow. “So why don’t you answer me? Topper?”
“Sir I didn’t understand everything.”
“So if the topped understood 60%, an average student will understand 6%”
By this time, we’re all looking at the watch hoping we could make time go faster.
“Children, you shouldn’t be tense!” (hah! That’s a laugh)
He says that, because he doesn’t know what my class does when they’re not tense. Throw paperballs at each other during class hours. Pass their AKBA newsletter (Applied Kallippu Boys Association). Draw. Sleep. Complete records. Trust me, sir, you don’t need to go there!
He then proceeds to draw diagrams and write equations on the boards. Someone very timidly asks “Sir, isn’t the voltage negative?”
“Negative & positive voltages are all relative. Electric fields are relative.” and he launches into a detailed explanation which completely confuses us, and by the end of which, noone wants to tell him that!
Time for last speech. “I am very disappointed in you. If you don’t answer any questions, the sessionals of the class will suffer. It’s all relative.”
Parting shot? “Prepare for a test for tomorrow”
“Thank you sir!”

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8 thoughts on “It’s All Relative!

  1. Aravind.V

    Basically there are two ways to approach this situation. That is His way or the Highway and for me the highway seems a lot more easier. But who knows there might be a shortcut somewhere down the lane in that way.

  2. Angel

    “Just tell me you are bored and I will give you attendance”
    Ahh, that famous line..they know no one will ever do that…for once, I want to just go ahead and do it, just for kicks…needless to say,I might get my *ahem* kicks.

  3. Anonymous

    Actually we tried it for once in out college suddenly when everybody stood up the “Teacher started to sweat” and said that she would have to cut attendance. Funny they never mean what they say. Good part is she never mentions it again.

  4. Anonymous

    hi,
    reading ur blogs i am waiting for u to join the working world. Seeing some of the characters here, ur blogs then are going to be infinitely more funnier.(Now cmon dont try and Reading comprehensise it).
    phantom of cyberspace

  5. DJ

    Btw what is your sirs name, or Alias.. I don’t remember a teacher with this discription. Ahem, the Only sir who comes even close would be RSK, but fear was an emotion unknown to the CETians… seems that there has been huge cultural holocaust after we left… We are sorry that we have not taught you well.
    Don’t let the fear of getting out keep you from playing the Game…Cheers

  6. Van G

    This blog brings nostalgia of our circuit theory classes.. The way we used to react.. I was the one who was usually picked up for answering his questions..
    Isnt that the same old Ajayan… Though he never taught VLSI in the past, the rest of the speech is the same..

    Jai bolo CET ki…….

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