Update for the Terminally Masochistic

Before I go ahead with the blog, I’d like to clear up some minor points. Last time I used the word ‘Masochistic’, my friend referred the dictionary, *ulp*.. I do NOT mean that! I use the word the same way I’d use sadistic. No such connotations attached.. at LEAST, I hope NOT! I am in no way to account for the weird taste of all you folks out in cyberspace. Well, now that you have thoroughly researched the meanings of both words ‘masochistic’ and ‘sadistic’ (I KNEW that http://dictionary.com was a good link to give you!), let’s get cracking… Whoops! I didn’t mean that either! “Oh my mind, whither goest thou?”

So, what happened to me after 26th January? Aren’t you curious to know? So, how much time DO you have to spare? And is your heart upto it?

Looking back at the week, I am happy I didn’t know how packed it was going to be at the start of it all..

After 26th, we had our inter-semester cultural fest, Sargam for 3 days- 27th, 28th and 29th. In the middle of all this, I was scheduled to present a paper at MBT.. That was the doing of my friend from that college. Every evening, Sandeep used to call me, “Hey Shruti. So you’re coming for Cynosure, right? Your paper has been selected! You are participating for Best Manager, okay.. I’ve been telling ALL my friends about you.” So, NO pressure, huh? Nope! None at ALL! —> (:-S) That’s me after that conversation!

Anyways, back to the short history of the week! 27th wasn’t too bad. Went to college, mucked around the Union room with nothing to do other than present the Personality Prelims question paper to some people and ask them to take enough photocopies. It was to be held the next day, but I wouldn’t be in college. Made 16 questions for it.. (call me for the details!)

Meanwhile, I got hoodwinked into something I have no inclination towards. My only shyness to perform is my singing. Somehow, the idea of standing before everyone and singing doesn’t enchant me as much as letting my mouth do the talking! Unfortunately, this senior of mine, who is distantly related to me (in the way so many Christians are.. 4th cousin or so!) asked me if I could. I told him I would if he would. Well… He did! And got first too! Whoops! To top it all, he gave me a ‘demo’ about how he thought I was a ‘woman of my word’.. Anyways, Western solo was only on Saturday!

Then, I thought of participating for Hindi recitation! Great idea! I’ve learnt so many Hindi poems in school, that I can recall about 15 of them without any problem, and quite a few more I know partially. I am kind of partial to Ramdhari Singh ‘Dinkar’, though. So, the poem was to be “Bharatiya Sena ka Prayaan Geeth”

In the electronics seminar hall, I kept looking closely at the judge. It was deja vu all over again. I KNEW I had seen her somewhere! But WHERE? Suddenly, it came to me… This was my sister’s old classmate from school! She has a twin sister! I began bugging the guy in charge to ask what her name was? I got her life history in the meantime.. Working at VSSC.. etc etc! After the recitation, on the off-chance I went and asked her if she’d studied in KV Pattom with a Tripti George. She had! I told her I was Tripti’s sister.. “Shruti! how is Tripti?” Well, that sewed up the competition, right? Anyways, I got first for that, and NOT because of any manipulation too… contrary to what ANYONE might say! *looks around sharply!*

At 3 pm, I dashed off to Divya’s house to do the Powerpoint for our paper. It was finally over, at 6:15, after a lot of phone calls from my mom and 25 slides later! I was heartily sick of DNA Computing by the end of it! Back to home for some R & R!

The next day dawned bright and sunny. I was busy chewing my nails. After all.. NO pressure, nah? Went to church (friday thing for mom) and picked up Divz, Vimitha and Reshmi at Ulloor(late) and made our way to MBT. MBT is in the Mar Ivanios campus and is very pretty. Modern buildings and amenities, especially when you come from CET. CET, of course, is well-known just because the students are such ‘spars’ (Yay! CET!) We registered for the paper and there was Sandeep AGAIN! His mobile was permanently stuck to his ear. Maybe I ought to introduce him to my juniors? (:D)! Annette was at the desk. It was great to see her. The college was full of my KV buddies and juniors. It felt good!

Their seminar hall was great. It had a good projector and a fast computer. We uploaded our presentation and were slated for first wtih Vimz and Resh following us with Halo Networks or Airborne Internet.

But before that, we had our BM prelims round 1, which was an exam. It was dead easy, especially when compared to the one I had set, but had lots of GK questions which I had fun with. Quant was easy, Verbal was VERY confusing, after half an hour we went back to do our paper.

Our presentation went on well, except that we pretty much read off the Powerpoint, since we didn’t have enough time to dwell on the developments. The professors were very interested and asked us a lot of questions. One question, from a student, I can’t forget “If you have DNA, how can you be so sure, you won’t make a new organism?” Divya promptly handed me the mike while I was formulating an answer that did not contain the sentence, “How dumb are you?”

I had to be content with, “That’s a very obscure question. We need millions of DNA strands for the ‘production’ of one organism. We’re only using much less here and replicating that.” Of course, DNA in a test-tube is present EVEN when someone draws blood off you. Does it matter?! No! Divya told me later “Here people are trying to clone animals for AGES, and this dude thinks we will make an animal by ACCIDENT!”

Vimz and Resh had a killer powerpoint. Reshmi’s dynamism was, as usual, in evidence. Vimz was her restrained self.

I met one of my childhood friends (from 5th standard) there. Very nice! He had changed a lot, and he assured me, so had I.. 10 years, I better have, right??!

Next up, BM Second round. Vimz, Resh, Balasubramaniam and I had made it through with some 6 MBTians. It was a Mock press round. First try, I got Richard Stallings, FSF guy. I gave up! Then got Jayan! Oh yeah sure!! I talked in some Malayalam. I guess the judges took pity on me and asked me questions in English. First one was “Where were you till now?” I informed him that I had been abducted by aliens and I met Elvis Presley in The UFO. I guess only one judge got the allusion, he was grinning from ear to ear! The kids were looking confused. I then fielded questions about my favourite costumes (bellbottoms), favourite actress (Sheila), favourite current actress (Manju Warrier). One smart alec asked me which actress I would like to get married to. I involved him in a long and pointless discussion about polygamy and the law and how he thought I was lying because I had died and gone to Hell. Suddenly, those sweet words! Time up!

Reshmi got Mallika Sherawat. She did well, till she said that she was the ‘boyfriend from the Girlfriend’.. Uhuh! Vimz got Molly from “Bobbanum Molly” She didn’t know where they lived, which class she was in, where she studied and who the third character was. But her answers were very funny!

Soon after was the third round, which was a GD. Resh and Vimz and 3 MBTians were in one group with the topic: Should India opt for indigenous technology or import?” They did well! Balasubramaniam, I and 3 other MBTians, including my school junior in the other. Our topic was : “Is the IT Sector taking away investment from the rural sector?” I just went on chattering away to glory! After 2 minutes, Balasubramaniam thought he better interject. It went into debating! Some audience asked me if I was on Boost! (I am running out of exclamation marks!!!)

The GD was an elimination round and all 4 CETians made it along with 1 MBTian! Now it was time to be stressed out. But first…. LUNCH! After lunch at their canteen, we got into our mental stress round. They locked us in a room with some volunteers and gave us some puzzles. It was real fun, but too little time! Here’s one question!

XXII

____ = II

VIII

Think of them as matchsticks! Correct the equation by moving one and only one matchstick. Plus you can’t change the operations! Send answers to this blog!

After this, we had our physical stress round. This was a Treasure Hunt around the college. We were given coloured slips of paper that directed us to different locations, solving puzzles in half an hour. The route was different for everyone. They were quite easy and I went along okay. The students found us very funny and spent their time laughing! Volunteers, holding Munch boxes (no chocs!) would give us the next clue and the final puzzle would have to be solved. My clues took me from the Canteen to the Main College Gate, the Main Lobby, the Library and finally to the Statue of Jesus. There we got the final clue, which involved balls. By this time, sweat was pouring all over my forehead and I just wanted to lie down and sleep. Somehow, I got myself to to do the puzzle by visualising what Sandeep had told ALL his friends. (And he HAD too, everyone kept saying “Oh so YOU’RE Shruti, heard about you from Sandeep.” The best comment was one I got from his best friend! “You’re wearing the same dress as those photos. That’s how I knew who it was!!”) No pressure! None at ALL!

Anyway, by some freak of nature I was the first one to hand it all in and I advanced into the last round! Balasubramanian and the MBT junior, Aravind made it too. The last round was a Case Study. I got one involving V-Guard stabilisers. Did quite well and fielding questions was easy too!

After all this work, we came second for the paper and I came first for Best Manager! Vimz and Resh came first for the Paper! A clean sweep for CET!… AND I got 2000 bucks!! Way cool day! Didn’t have a prize distribution ceremony, though, because all of us had left and I had to go to college to pick up personality answer sheets! Then I made my way back to Mar Ivanios, where Sandeep gave me the certificates and the money.

29th was an anticlimax! It was terribly busy too. I got to read the answer sheets! It’s another long story if I explain the answers! Suffice it to say, they were excruciatingly punny….! One guy only had this to say “I want to die in 5 years.”

Plans for next 10 years? “I will be dead!”

Most adventurous thing you’ve done: “death!” “standing on a terrace with a grape balanced on my nose.” “Dating two guys at once”

The judges encircled the controversial answers to give the finalists some bad time…

Other sample answers

Question: Tell us something about you.(20 words or less!) “You is a three letter word, it has 2 vowels…”, “Mind full of fun and belly full of XXX-rum”.

Question: What is the question you have never heard or will never hear? “What’s your underwear size?”, “Are you a virgin?” “This is that question”, “Do you love me?” (how pathetic) “Do you have a girlfriend?”

Question: Whom would you like to be stranded on a desert island with? “Pamela Anderson, I will extract silicon from her and make transistors and signal for help.” “Selma Hayek, because she knows a lot about life and a deserted island”

Question: How can you tell ‘N-Sync and Backstreet Boys apart? : “You can’t.. They’re both gay.” (I agree!) “Bloodstreet boys and Red Sync!” (Dude was seriously considering death!)

Question : Your fairy godmother has given you the threads, and the groovy ride. There’s only one hitch. You’re in Trivandrum. Where will you hangout and why? Remember you got to back by 10 pm. “Coffee beanz, because the only ‘goodlooking’ guys in Tvm hang out there” (A matter of opinion, kiddo) “MH” (puhleese!), “CET”!!

Question : Your excuse for not submitting your assignment on time? “I study at Career Launcher, not TIME”

Question: You are a contestant at a beauty pageant. They asked you what you want for this century. World peace has already been taken. “No war!”

Question: The most important person in this millennium “Sri Krishna, what capacity”.. (THIS millennium!)

Well, you get the idea. Needless to say, all these got the writers into a LOT of trouble! The questions for the finals were even more convoluted. Here’s one… “You wrote your thesis on how the egg came before the chicken. But new research has shown this is NOT the case! present your excuses before a press conference!”

One I am proud of began “You have an Attention Deficiency Disorder..” The guy asked me “What did you say? I wasn’t following you….” Kind of self evident, eh?

After 90 minutes Ashok aka Swamy was crowned Mr.CET and I was beat….!

PS: I got 1st for Western Solo!!! Que Sera Sera!!

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7 thoughts on “Update for the Terminally Masochistic

  1. ഉമേഷ്::Umesh

    A possible answer to the matchstick puzzle:

    Move one matchstick from the ‘V’ in the denominator to the right side. If you don’t mind the fact that the first ‘I’ is a little slanted, you’ll get the roman equivalent of 12/4 = 3.

    I cannot find anything better.

  2. ഉമേഷ്::Umesh

    My last comment didn’t go through due to some reason. Anyway, it was wrong. I thought the numerator is 12, and it is 22…

    Now, 22/7 rings a bell… Move the rightmost ‘I’ from the denominator to the top of the ‘II’ on the right side. You’ll get 22/7 = PI !

    A clever solution, indeed!

    But really, PI is not 22/7, which is 3.142857…. PI is really 3.1415926…..

  3. Amit

    hey..nice blog..i think we studied together at jk’s place..i was in stcs..yeah whatever..anyways..i’ve added you to my links list..hope you don’t mind..keep up the good work…

  4. George

    interesting reading it was…has to comment a few days later…this is my first day at school reading blogs and urs was good work…but u had a hectic time to rave about…well past sleeping time and i well as well catch that sleep…

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